Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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