your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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