he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
