Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
