how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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