how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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