I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
