you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
