belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
