yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
