He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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