apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I can't put those talents on a resume
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
