oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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