nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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