hell yes lets make some ravioli
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
