I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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