I think I am morally bankrupt
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
