I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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