Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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