3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
