so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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