She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
