it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
