haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
