sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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