69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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