Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
