there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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