her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
