therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
