I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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