paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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