just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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