Jerry, you need to find god
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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