I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So much Jack, so little girl.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
