My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
