the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
