You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
