I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
