Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
