That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
