i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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