As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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