I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
