Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize