Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
