you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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