im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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