I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
