I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
