So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
