What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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