when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
