My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
