she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
