therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize