Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
false alarm, still single
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