If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
