Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
