Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just cut my nipple shaving
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
