How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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