Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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