Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
