you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
