i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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