isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
