ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
