i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
