she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
