Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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