guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
