don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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