I look better un-naked...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
