You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
